本週末參加了台灣心理治療學會舉辦的提升家庭復原力工作坊,真的是很充實的一個週末。芝加哥來的兩位講者Froma Walsh和John Rolland講了很多家族治療工作的概念。我覺得真的非常非常有趣的地方,是這兩位學者怎麼樣把個案的情形,用各種角度去分析,並且組織成容易理解的模型,讓實務者能夠依循。
許多個人的心理問題,其實往往不單純只是個人問題,而是反映出整個家庭或是整個社會的問題。例如說,很多吸毒或酗酒的個案,其實家裡面有很多代的意外死亡或深沉失落感。又例如說,家庭暴力往往並非只是個人品行操守的問題,還牽涉到非常深遠的文化、性別政治以及社會價值觀等層面的問題。
在分析個案的時候,也常會發現很多邏輯在自己或者朋友的身上都可以看到。例如我經常自己在和伴侶的互動過程中,看到和雙方父母一樣的動力關係,而賦予熟悉的意義,卻因而錯過真正了解對方的機會。也因此我現在都盡量要求自己慢下來,不要太早對對方的行為想法下定論。而往往這些錯誤的認知,其實是來自於善意,例如說媽媽因為過去受過苦,所以發誓絕對不要讓小孩子受苦,卻演變成限制小孩做一些適度的探險活動。因此重新看待對方的用意,就會讓事情順利一些吧。
對我來說這次工作坊的最大收穫,是再次強化了我對於諮商工作其實就是,怎麼樣讓案主找到資源,以及重新看待生命的一個過程,這樣的信念。很多時候,其實就是佛教會講的,轉念轉念吧,但是要怎麼幫忙轉念,真的是一門偉大的藝術咧。
上課上完了,就到師大附近逛逛。發現附近有很多很有趣的小店。我想韓良露眼中的南村,的確是存在的,師大商圈有這個potential。這是小布爾喬亞的情趣,生活中一定要有這些才不無聊喔^_^。
18 comments:
荷蘭 Amsterdam 大學心理學家提出幸福不對稱論
(華翼網新聞中心 - 荷蘭新聞) 2007-10-22
人們渴望幸福,往往又缺乏幸福感,這是為什麼呢?荷蘭阿姆斯特丹大學心理學教授尼科﹒弗裡達日前提出“幸福不對稱論”。他認為,即便引起愉快感覺的環境一直存在,這種感覺也很容易消散。然而,消極的情緒卻會伴隨著環境而持續存在。就是說,人類很容易適應快樂,卻永遠不能習慣悲哀。
弗裡達說,情感是不對稱的。積極情緒較之消極情緒強度弱,且持續時間短。快樂、幸福和迷醉的感受會變得乏味、蒼白。不對稱論認為,如果從前曾讓我們沉迷並帶來快樂的事情不斷重復,就會變得乏味,但消極的情緒卻不會如此。
另一些科學家從其他角度來研究人們缺乏幸福感的原因。精神病專家喬治﹒伯恩斯為了探究幸福感和促其生成的生物神經學理論依據而對一些被認為樂天派的人進行研究。伯恩斯認為,只有當人們感到不幸的時候,只有當遇到困難,面對新鮮刺激和以前從未完成的目標的時候,人們才能夠取得進步。事實上,這個理論在藝術創作上也很經典。
在人的一生中,有些困難是不可避免的。但很多專家認為,歷經艱難險阻有助於最終獲得幸福。在困難面前,人的大腦會進入一個蓄勢待發的停滯階段。人們需要經過歷練使人格成形。有時,後退是為了進步。雖然會經歷痛苦,但直面困難的人最終要比逃避的人更加幸福。只有經歷過艱難險阻的人才相信幸福。
幸福只是人生的一個組成部分。人們還需要通過艱苦的努力來具備其他積極因素,例如助人精神、同情之心和創造能力。在集體主義文化中,人們從小就明白不經歷風雨就不能見彩虹。
解讀荷蘭女性幸福的秘訣
(華翼網新聞中心 - 荷蘭新聞) 2007-07-27
最近的一本暢銷書上說,法國女性不會變胖;另有一本則說,日本女性不會變老。然而,她們的荷蘭姐妹卻更為幸運,既不會變老也不會變胖。這是因為荷蘭女性不會感覺鬱悶。
在對數位歷史學家、心理學者、時裝設計師、私人代購、雜志編輯以及普通荷蘭女性進行面對面的訪談之後,荷蘭心理學家兼新聞工作者艾倫﹒德﹒布魯茵(Ellen de Bruin)出了一本名為《荷蘭女性不會感覺鬱悶》的新書,正式向法國及日本的女性同胞發出挑戰。出於對前兩本暢銷書的質疑,德﹒布魯茵指出,荷蘭女性比全世界其他各地的女性都要幸福。
“幸福與否實際上同人身自由有很大關系,而這其中,個人選擇是關鍵所在。” 德﹒布魯茵說。她認為:“相比其他很多地方,荷蘭女性可以合法地自由選擇自己的伴侶、信仰以及性取向。”
鹿特丹伊拉斯謨斯大學(Erasmus University)社會學教授馮霍恩(Ruut Veenhoven)建立的全球幸福指數排行榜當中,荷蘭排在第一位。所謂的幸福指數從1到10,10代表著最大的生活滿意度。荷蘭以7.5的幸福指數打敗了法國(6.5)和日本(6.2),甚至連美國(6.4)、英國(7.1)以及意大利和西班牙(均為6.9),都淪為它的手下敗將。
荷蘭女性幸福指數最高的部分原因是:同法國和日本相比,荷蘭的社會組織形式會為女性提供更多掌控自身生活的機會。“日本是一個奉行集體主義的國家,當涉及到工作、伴侶、信仰等生活中的重要問題時,女性幾乎沒有選擇的自由。”德﹒布魯茵在一次訪問中說道。同時,中央集權化程度過高也是法國人生活滿意度降低的原因。“對此,我們有著一種根深蒂固的不信任感。人們對於個人自由的向往體現在了生活的各個方面。”
“在別人眼裡我們野蠻粗俗,不知道如何打扮自己,也不太好客。” 德﹒布魯茵在阿姆斯特丹進行談話時說,當時她正要騎車去參加一門課程,學習如何穿高跟鞋。“我們的穿著隨天氣而定,不會為了吸引眼球而去‘美麗凍人’。出門就騎自行車,這也是荷蘭女性不能穿得過於優雅的原因。”德﹒布魯茵說。由於男女平等意識的根深蒂固,“在自家男人面前我們完全可以頤指氣使。”
然而,德﹒布魯茵的觀點不過是在向我們表明,魅力、好客和吸引力也許不是荷蘭女性的幸福來源。她認為住在這樣一個富庶的工業化社會,女性有條件兼顧家庭和事業,這正是她們獲得滿足感的重要來源。關於這一觀點,德﹒布魯茵還找到了數字依據:約有68%的荷蘭女性都在從事兼職工作,一周大約25個小時,其中大多數是因為不想做全職工作。
基於適度的經濟自由傳統,荷蘭女性早在14世紀就有了婚前工作的先例。那是因為當時的瘟疫使得女性勞動力成為必需,也賦予了女性獨立自主的習慣,一些歷史學家還稱此為第一次女權運動。
荷蘭女性的幸福感有很大程度要歸功於社會對於核心家庭(nuclear family,指由夫妻雙方和未結婚的孩子兩代人組成的家庭)的重視──這一由低地國家始創、在荷蘭人心中佔據重要位置的家庭機制。此外,荷蘭人自己選擇配偶的習俗也要早於其他國家──羅馬教皇格裡高利九世於1234年下令,人們在選擇配偶時應該依照自己的意願,而不是聽從父母之命或者媒妁之言。再加上荷蘭人免收嫁妝的傳統──無論男女都享有繼承父母遺產的平等權利,這便意味著女性不必再以早結婚來換取繼承權。
同時,早在資本主義經濟萌芽時期,處於黃金時代的荷蘭就建立了世界上第一個証券交易所和退休金制度,這使得荷蘭女性從照顧老人的家庭重擔中解脫了出來。
“這一點在荷蘭人的心目中早已達成共識,並且根深蒂固。” 德﹒布魯茵說,她認為地中海國家和北歐國家的社會組織形式有著天壤之別。“你只需觀察一下住在養老院裡的那些人,”她說,“在荷蘭到了一定歲數有80%的老人都會入住,可在西班牙卻還不到4%。”
然而,經濟獨立的傳統、兩廂情願的婚姻和相對較輕的家庭負擔,並沒有為今天的荷蘭女性免除所有的社會壓力。例如,在選擇從事兼職還是全職方面,雖說荷蘭女性享有充分的自由,可在這裡從事全職工作的母親要比在其他國家受到更多的不公待遇,德﹒布魯茵說。
阿姆斯特丹素來以紅燈區聞名於世,很多作家都經常在作品中對荷蘭女性的開放讚譽有加。可一旦結了婚,性的問題就會退居二線;對於早期的加爾文教徒來說,婚內性行為都是有罪的,德﹒布魯茵說。因此,荷蘭女性會將其性能量轉移到家庭瑣事當中。
“她們會把男人呼來喝去──婦唱夫隨已經屢見不鮮。這一點從16世紀的文學作品當中就能看出一些端倪,至今還是這樣子。”她說。
“無論是否出於自願”,男性都被期望能夠分擔一下家務,德﹒布魯茵說。荷蘭女性“希望男性能夠通過做家務來換取她的心理平衡,不過必須按照她的方式”。
這樣一來便引發了另外一個問題,荷蘭男性是否會感覺鬱悶?
答案是否定的。因為據德﹒布魯茵所說,兩性的行為發展是相輔相成的,在男性喜歡女性飛揚跋扈的同時,女性也應該不會執著於所謂的男子氣概。
“幸運的是,多數男人依然保有足夠男子氣概。”德﹒布魯茵說。
師大夜市美食 新號打敗老店
更新日期:2007/12/22 16:30 記者劉開元/台北報導
台灣師大夜市美食名聞遐邇,最近師大學生更首次以網路投票方式選出30家人氣店家排行榜及美食地圖,供民眾按圖找美食。但票選結果很令人意外,「健康滷味」與「小飯館兒」打敗許多有全國性知名度的老店,分居冠亞軍,跌破許多人的眼鏡,已成為美食圈及校園的熱門話題。
最讓人討論不休的是居排行榜首的健康滷味,打敗了其他多家同性質的老字號店家如「燈籠滷味」,師大學生認為,健康滷味奪魁的主因是比較清淡,且該店被認為是師大學生心目中最親切店家。而亞軍的小飯館兒,賣的雖是烤肉,但肉質新鮮,且無限制供應小菜與飲料,因而擊退另一家名字幾乎相同的業者。第三名的「李阿姨水煎包店」,每天總是排滿長龍,在票選中贏了出名的「許記生煎包」。
入選30名的業者,師大學生只公布前三名的名次,其他則不計名次。其他上榜美食,例如「河堤水餃」,是俗擱大碗的代表店家,「極簡」以店內精緻餐點與可愛貓咪著稱。「許記生煎包」生意好到店家還要準備發號碼機及報數器,供顧客排隊用。「左撇子」翻炒、甩鍋,有如藝術表演,讓人稱絕。
師大夜市已成台北的美食重鎮,提倡慢食美食的南村落也在此落腳,但從未有「美食排行榜」出現,因此結果一出引起相當震撼。發起該項票選活動的台師大人類發展與家庭系學生童永豪表示,師大夜市因為有著特殊地理環境與交通條件,使師大夜市具備好吃、好玩的代表。但附近餐飲業者上百家,總讓人眼花瞭亂,因此才會在擔任「精靈之城」版主時發起票選人氣美食活動,只是想提供該校學生選擇美食參考。
為了避免商家對該分美食排行榜的排斥,童永豪說,票選結果,除只公布前三名外,其他則不布票選得票數。他也強調,該項票選活動是校內學生自發性票選活動,絕對客觀,沒有灌票。
冠軍:健康滷味
亞軍:小飯館兒
季軍:李阿姨水煎包
其他入選者:轉個灣餐廳、瑪莉珍比薩、雲鄉圓泰式料理、阿洛瑪洋食館、米倉、小戴黑胡椒雞排、阿諾可麗餅、阿英鍋貼、河堤水餃、德爾曼小鎮、會上癮飲料、極簡餐廳、伊洛瓦底泰式料理、蘭陽派、品客咖啡、浣旭鐵板麵、北港豆花、Tea Shop、成都麵食館、許記生煎包、左撇子、Va Bene義利麵鋪、樂杯斯、燈籠滷味、牙買加倉庫、搖滾牛冰淇淋、阿二茶坊。
資料來源/師大精靈之城美食版主童永豪
記者劉開元/製表
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in your kitchen you don't want to blemish your frugal reputation. Each has his own concoction of soapy water, tobacco juice or hot pepper solutions to to deter these nasty pests and try those first.
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If you are like me and love garlic, you are already too late.
They don't control every bad bug, but it will help you have better success gardening. Grab a few bags of organic potting soil and lean them up against the sunny side of your garage or a brick wall of your home.
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