中午排訪問，一個在美國發展二十年助理教授，第一次採訪有限制無法深入，但是能夠聽到他的經驗感覺還是很棒，同時也感覺到台灣人的hospitality。也可以感覺到，不管身在異鄉多久，台灣人畢竟還是有些台灣人的性格，感覺熟悉而親切，心情溫度再度爬升。每個人的生活裡面都有一些obsess的事情，我好像也是，其中一項是對於家裡某種程度整潔、和家事流程固定
的需要，但是今天先不要說這個，先說我在社交場合裡面的一個超級大的壞習慣，那就是，把別人的話當真。真的很糟。例如說某某可能只是非常客氣的說某件事情，我卻會認真的睜大眼睛說，真的嗎，然後發現自己簡直就是個白痴。不過經過多次訓練，已經比較能夠掌握談話的技巧跟深淺程度了，何時該進、何時該退，何時該禮貌、何時該堅持，嗯，本人小時候並非生長在社交世家，所以得靠後天學習補足，幸好認識了一些近乎是社交資優生的女朋友們，有受到耳濡目染的影響（感激有妳們！）。晚上和女朋友討論了一陣男生內褲樣式的問題，最sexy跟最lousy的。她喜歡男生穿Boxer，我則是討厭男生穿棉質白內褲，前面還有開檔的那種。想呼籲男生們，注意一下內在美，以照顧好您的床伴！像女生都會特別注意去買那種亮面或暗色的內衣，以免wear-off，請男生們多多效尤。否則就請鍛鍊對身體的自信，展現「肉色內衣」之美即可（請參照米開朗基羅那幅不知名的全人畫像）。
前一陣子跟男友討論到身心分裂的問題，因為中學時代念了六年的教會學校，然後大學又到一個全都是男生、想法非常單一的和尚學校，所以即使到現在已經年至三十，還是覺得身體跟腦袋經常是兩碼子事情。所以有時候腦袋要什麼，
身體跟不上，或者身體要什麼，腦袋跟不上。真的很糟糕。我舉了中學時校歌裡一句話「冰清玉潔」來形容這種情形，當你的腦袋被灌輸了那樣的觀念，然後真正到社會上學生存時，發現這世界運作方式並非如此時，那種震撼之大的。身體的需求其實並沒有所謂的道德價值判斷在裡面，是僵化了的頭腦給的限制，若兩者差距太大，就會產生所謂的精神疾病。至於身心如何整合？舞蹈、禪修或瑜珈、芳香按摩等是我目前想到的幾個不錯的方式。從事心理治療工作，要面對個案各式各樣的問題，常要去突破跟放下的，是自己價值觀的投射，所以很希望能不斷地去整理自己，在這個方面。這幾天因為半夜都會醒來，為了不吵到朋友，都躲在廁所內依著馬桶寫東西，很喜歡這種突兀的感覺，特此為記。
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http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/102425/Body_Language:_A_Key_to_Success_in_the_Workplace
Body Language: A Key to Success in the Workplace
by Carmine Gallo
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
provided by
Let's say you're all set for your big interview—the one you're confident will change your career. You know you can wow the person across the desk with your accomplishments. Or you're ready to give the presentation that reflects months of hard work and success. But before you even open your mouth, the rest of your body has already spoken volumes.
What does your body language say? Does it say you're confident, smart, and enthusiastic—or just the opposite?
Only a small percentage of communication involves actual words: 7%, to be exact. In fact, 55% of communication is visual (body language, eye contact) and 38% is vocal (pitch, speed, volume, tone of voice). The world's best business communicators have strong body language: a commanding presence that reflects confidence, competence, and charisma.
More Than Words
More from BusinessWeek:
• Slideshow: Keys to Commanding Body Language
• How to Wow Them Like Steve Jobs
• Terminate Your Public Speaking Fears
One problem with body language is it may not convey what you really feel. For example, keeping your hands stiffly by your side or stuck in your pockets can give the impression that you're insecure—whether you are or not.
Avoiding looking at people—maybe simply because you're too busy consulting your notes or your résumé—can lead people to think you're being less than honest with them. You may be slouching because you're tired, but people may read it as a sign that you're not interested.
Conversely, strong and effective body language can help establish an immediate rapport with your audience, signaling confidence in your message. Look at photographs of Ronald Reagan. He carried himself impeccably even on the back of a horse at his ranch. He had an aura of confidence, optimism and power.
The Eyes Have It
People want to feel special. They want to feel as though you are speaking to them directly or that they are the most important person in the room during your conversation. Breaking eye contact is a surefire way to break the connection.
During presentations, mentally split the room into thirds. Address some of your comments to one side of the room, turn your attention to the middle, and then look to the last section. Pick out one person in each section and direct your comments toward that person. The people surrounding that person will think you are making direct eye contact with them.
Maintaining eye contact throughout your presentation requires preparation. The material on your slide should be committed to memory; otherwise you will be stuck reading instead of connecting. Make sure you know what's in your résumé or notes so you're not constantly referring to them.
Don't let anything come between you and your listeners. Crossing your arms, standing behind a podium or chair, or talking to someone from behind a computer monitor are all examples of blocking, which prevents a real connection from taking place.
Think openness. Remove physical barriers—podiums, computers, chairs. Even a folder on a desk can break the connection and create distance.
Animate Yourself
When you're speaking, let your hands do some of the talking. Great speakers use hand gestures more than on average. A professor who studies body language once told me that complex gestures—two hands above the waist—reflect complex thinking. Gestures give the listener confidence in the speaker.
Try this: Watch people such as Bill Clinton, Colin Powell, Barack Obama, Tony Blair or any number of charismatic speakers. You will immediately begin to notice that they punctuate nearly every sentence with a hand gesture. C-SPAN carries weekly debates between British Prime Minister Blair and members of the House of Commons. Watch it once and you will never doubt the importance of effective hand gestures.
And move the rest of your body, too. Great speakers move around the room, pointing to a slide instead of reading from it, placing their hands on someone's shoulders instead of keeping their distance. Don't animate your slides—animate your body!
Stand—or sit—tall. Poor posture is often associated with a lack of confidence or a lack of engagement or interest. For example, during a job interview, leaning back in your chair can give the impression that you're lazy, unmotivated, or dispassionate about the position. Keep your head up and back straight. Lean forward when seated. By sitting toward the front of your chair and leaning forward slightly, you will look far more interested, engaged, and enthusiastic.
It's All Learnable
I once worked with a client preparing for a major presentation to his company's largest investors. His body language was a mess—eyes cast downward, hands awkwardly tucked in his pockets, swaying back and forth. This guy was a poster boy for poor body language. He seemed insecure and out of his league.
By showing him a videotape of what he looked like and working on eye contact, hand gestures, animation, posture and staying open, this executive went on to rock the house during his presentation. He made solid eye contact with everybody in the room, he pulled his hands out of his pockets and used purposeful, assertive hand gestures. His posture and stance exuded power, confidence, and competence—he had charisma.
So work on your body language. Pay as much attention to it as the words you use, and watch your influence soar!
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